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Summer has arrived

yoursunnyyoursunny Member, IPv6 Advocate

According to the calendar on https://guards.re , summer has officially arrived on LowEndTalk! ๐Ÿ–๏ธ
Grab your popcorn, because summer hosting season means it is time for the annual low-end- circus.

Active Summer Host Features

  • The bedroom special: a server running entirely on a dusty desktop tower under a teenager's bed, cooled by a single household desk fan.
  • The master of disguise: a brand new provider that registered their domain exactly four days ago, where the frontpage confidently claims they have over 10 years of enterprise data center experience. If questioned, the patron provider would explain that they previously had a different brand serving only domestic customers.
  • The infinite resource: a $1/year VPS that offers unlimited storage, unlimited bandwidth, and a 10Gbps port. It will be suspended for violating fair use when four users try to install WordPress at the same time.
  • The magic backup: a premium tier offering fully automated, multi-region daily backups. The backups exist in the owner's dreams and will disappear as soon as they main server fails.

Already Deadpooled

Signs a Host Will Deadpool Before End of Summer

You can spot an unstable host early by asking the right technical and operational questions.
Watch out for these major red flags when looking at the dealz:

  • They rent everything and own nothing: they will vanish when their hardware and IPv4 space bills come due.
  • They charge a massive fee to buy a single extra IPv4: they have a limited network and cannot scale their operations.
  • They completely ban custom ISOs on KVM plans: they are over-allocating their nodes and hiding a broken control panel.
  • They do not list a real data center name or address: your data is probably located in a basement guarded by two very scary dogs.
  • They lack a clear policy on persistent CPU and port blasting: neighbors will crash the infrastructure by July.
  • They refuse to publish YABS benchmark data: they are hiding weak hardware that will melt under summer heat.

Good Luck This Summer

Are you looking to buy a server this summer?
Remember to use a credit card with excellent fraud protection, backup your data daily to an external drive, and never buy a lifetime plan unless you expect that lifetime to last about two weeks.

What are you going to do this summer?
  1. What is yous strategy for picking a new summer VPS provider?82 votes
    1. Pick the one offering $1/year unlimited everything
      42.68%
    2. Choose the one ran by teenager on Discord
      25.61%
    3. Trust the 10-year old company with a domain registered four days ago
      12.20%
    4. Stick to providers that have survived for more than three weeks
      19.51%
  2. How are you going to protect your data from summer deadpools?82 votes
    1. Back up my files to Deep Atlanticc Storage
      28.05%
    2. Hope the host doesn't randomly delete the VPS during a migration
      25.61%
    3. Copy C: to D: on the same hard drive
      21.95%
    4. Trust the provider's 99.99% automated backups that don't exist
      24.39%
  3. What will you do when your server goes offline during a heatwave?82 votes
    1. Open 15 urgent support tickets
      13.41%
    2. Write a 1000-word drama thread generated by CharGBT
      25.61%
    3. Wait patiently for Daniel to wake up from under the floorboards
      34.15%
    4. Open a PayPal dispute for the $5 lifetime plan
      26.83%
ยซ1

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