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The Olympic was the sister ship of the Titanic, and she provided twenty-five years of service.
When the Titanic sank, 2228 people were on it. Only 706 survived.
Every day, 7% of the US eats at McDonald’s.
During his entire life, Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one painting, “Red Vineyard at Arles”.
By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
DAD JOKES
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind. It's tearable.
DAD JOKES
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.” “Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
DAD JOKES
What do you call a bundle of hay in a church? Christian Bale.
DAD JOKES
A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean. Both crews were marooned.
DAD JOKES
What is a guitar player's favorite Italian food? Strum-boli.
DAD JOKES
How does cereal pay its bills? With Chex.
DAD JOKES
Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
DAD JOKES
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
DAD JOKES
People in Athens rarely get up before sunrise. Dawn is tough on Greece.
DAD JOKES
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
DAD JOKES
Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
DAD JOKES
What's a lawyer's favorite drink? Subpoena colada.
DAD JOKES
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? HDMI.
DAD JOKES
What do you call a wizard who's really bad at football? Fumbledore.
DAD JOKES
How do nonbinary people hurt each other? They slash them. (They/them)
DAD JOKES
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
DAD JOKES
What's blue and not very heavy? Light blue.
DAD JOKES
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
DAD JOKES
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.
DAD JOKES
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
DAD JOKES
How do flat-earthers travel? On a plane.
DAD JOKES
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.
DAD JOKES
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line.
DAD JOKES
My wife left me because of my obsession with pasta. I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
DAD JOKES
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of the computer? The Space Bar.