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  • BAD JOKES

    How much does the heaviest skeleton weigh? A skeleton.

  • BAD JOKES

    What did the drummer name her twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two.

  • BAD JOKES

    What's big, gray and doesn't matter? An irrelephant.

  • BAD JOKES

    Why did the snowman pick through a bag of carrots? Because he was picking his nose.

  • BAD JOKES

    Why does Waldo only wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

  • BAD JOKES

    I witnessed an attempted murder earlier—fortunately only one crow showed up!

  • BAD JOKES

    I tried buying camouflage the other day but I couldn't find any.

  • BAD JOKES

    What did one bean say to the other? "How you bean?"

  • BAD JOKES

    How do you catch a bra? With a booby trap.

  • BAD JOKES

    How many tickles can an octopus take? Tentacles!

  • BAD JOKES

    What do clouds wear under their shorts? Thunderpants.

  • BAD JOKES

    Did you hear about the guy who won the award for best knock knock joke? He won the no bell prize.

  • BAD JOKES

    Why did Cinderella get kicked off of the soccer team? Because she kept running from the ball!

  • BAD JOKES

    How many ears do space aliens have? Three: The left ear, right ear and the final front ear.

  • BAD JOKES

    Cosmetic surgery used to be taboo, but now when you talk about Botox no one raises an eyebrow.

  • BAD JOKES

    Did you hear the one about the three watering holes in the ground? Well, well, well...

  • BAD JOKES

    What did the socks say to the pants? "'Sup britches?!"

  • BAD JOKES

    What shivers at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck.

  • BAD JOKES

    What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? Sneakers!

  • BAD JOKES

    I have the world's worst thesaurus. Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible.

  • BAD JOKES

    What do hillbillies drink from? Hiccups.

  • BAD JOKES

    What's even better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson.

  • BAD JOKES

    Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

  • BAD JOKES

    What kind of music do windmills like? They're metal fans.

  • BAD JOKES

    What do you call a fish with two knees? A tunee fish.

  • BAD JOKES

    I'd tell you the joke about perforated paper, but it's tear-able.

  • BAD JOKES

    What do you call someone else's cheese? Nacho cheese!

  • BAD JOKES

    What do you call a canine magician? A labracadabrador.

  • BAD JOKES

    The rotation of the earth really makes my day.

  • BAD JOKES

    Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels.

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