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BAD JOKES
What did the animals tell Simba when he walked too slow? Mufasa!
BAD JOKES
What do you call Samsung's security team? The Guardians of the Galaxy!
BAD JOKES
I sold my vacuum yesterday. It was just collecting dust.
BAD JOKES
What kind of tea is the hardest to swallow? Reality.
BAD JOKES
Why did the golfer need new pants? Because he got a hole in one.
BAD JOKES
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory? Because he took a few days off.
Smallpox is the only infectious disease that affects humans to have been eradicated.
Twinkies only have a shelf life of 45 days.
Maine is the closest state to Africa.
There was a proposed Amendment to the US Constitution in 1916 that would put all acts of war to a national vote, and anyone voting yes would have to register as a volunteer for service in the United States Army.
BAD JOKES
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.
BAD JOKES
How do snails fight? They slug it out.
BAD JOKES
What's Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1.
BAD JOKES
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "You crack me up!"
BAD JOKES
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
BAD JOKES
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew!
BAD JOKES
Did you hear about the satellites' wedding? The ceremony was OK, but the reception was terrific.
BAD JOKES
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
BAD JOKES
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? "Dam!"
BAD JOKES
Which school supply is king? The ruler.
BAD JOKES
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite.
BAD JOKES
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
BAD JOKES
What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
BAD JOKES
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
BAD JOKES
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
BAD JOKES
What's the worst part of being an egg? You only get laid once (and it's with your mom)!
BAD JOKES
Three fish are in a tank. One asked the others, "How the heck do you drive this thing?"
BAD JOKES
What concert is worth just 45 cents? 50 Cent and Nickelback.
BAD JOKES
Why can't a hand be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot.
BAD JOKES
What's the difference between a dapper man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire!