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FUNNY JOKES
Why are Christmas trees better than men? Even the small ones give satisfaction.
FUNNY JOKES
Are you Christmas? ‘Cause I wanna merry you!
FUNNY JOKES
You know, that’s not a candy cane in my pocket… I’m just THAT happy to see you.
FUNNY JOKES
Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? He was searching for some holiday spirit.
FUNNY JOKES
Why does Santa always come through the chimney? Because he knows better than to try the back door.
FUNNY JOKES
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
FUNNY JOKES
What do you call Santa if he also lives in the South Pole? Bi-Polar.
FUNNY JOKES
Why was the snowman smiling? He could see the snowblower coming down the street
FUNNY JOKES
What do priests and Christmas trees have in common? Their balls are just ornamental.
FUNNY JOKES
What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney? "Chest and nuts roasting on an open fire..."
FUNNY JOKES
Why is Santa so damn jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
FUNNY JOKES
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
FUNNY JOKES
What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh? They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.
FUNNY JOKES
Why did the snowman want a divorce? Because his wife was a total flake.
FUNNY JOKES
Why did the Grinch rob the liquor store? He desperately needed some holiday spirit.
FUNNY JOKES
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.
FUNNY JOKES
Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own? He only comes once a year.
FUNNY JOKES
Wanna see the North Pole? ...At least that's what Mrs. Claus calls it.
FUNNY JOKES
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa was smart enough to stop at three hos.
FUNNY JOKES
What's Santa's safe sex tip? Wrap your package before shoving it down the chimney.
FUNNY JOKES
What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning? When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
FUNNY JOKES
Why does Santa land on the roof? Because he likes it on top.
FUNNY JOKES
If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, do you mind if I visit between the holidays?
BAD JOKES
Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they're shellfish.
BAD JOKES
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
BAD JOKES
What did the custodian say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"
BAD JOKES
Why are colds bad criminals? Because they're easy to catch.
My God, why this much spam
BAD JOKES
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
BAD JOKES
Which knight invented King Arthur's Round Table? Sir Cumference.