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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Trust but verify.
The rhythmic clinking of cutlery and gentle chatter fill a dimly lit Italian restaurant.
A coastal trail reveals hidden coves and breathtaking cliffs, enticing hikers with scenic views.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
I downloaded the Pinterest app and now my phone is stuck in a mason jar.
The distant beats of a drum circle invite curious onlookers to join a spontaneous celebration.
If I had a dollar for everytime I had an existential crisis it wouldnt matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless.
Weddings and funerals are the same because I love going but I don't want them to be about me.
A city park transforms into a lively gathering spot, with picnics and outdoor activities.
The scent of pine needles wafts through a dense forest, capturing the essence of nature.
If you're still looking for that one person who will change your life take a look in the mirror.
Darling, you are the most beautiful woman in this party! Did you invite these guests on purpose?
A historic mansion, surrounded by manicured gardens, stands as a testament to elegance.
Change your Facebook Status to "I'm Pregnant" or "I'm Engaged" and watch the April Fools LIKE & Comment away.
Why did the man wear his wedding ring on the wrong finger? Because he was married to the wrong woman.
The distant hum of a busy airport signals the constant movement of travelers from around the world.
A woman once wanted me to father her child no strings attached. In other words, "I like your genes, but I don't like what you've done with them." I agreed but with one condition. She had to put it up for adoption.
An old-fashioned streetcar traverses the city streets, offering a nostalgic mode of transportation.
If you see someone doing a crossword today, lean over them and say "7 up is Lemonade".
My teacher was talking about excuses and told me to not tell her that my homework grew legs and flew away.
I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.
The laughter of friends echoes through a suburban backyard, where a barbecue is in full swing.
The distant hum of cicadas sets a soothing backdrop for a lazy summer afternoon.
Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates.....(Why?) Cause I want to take your top off.
Halloween is easily the scariest night of the year, what with the dead rising from their graves... and fat girls thinking they look sexy dressed as cats.
A coastal village comes to life with the arrival of fishing boats, unloading the day's catch.
If you run in front of a car you'll get tired, but if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
The gentle swaying of hammocks invites relaxation under the shade of towering palm trees.