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Comments

  • What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? Shoot him again.

  • Hello, I would like to double the bandwidth.
    Order Number: 5424911785
    Thanks!

  • WELCOME TO PAGE 764 - WHAT IS AND SHOULD NEVER BE !!

  • I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.

  • FrankZFrankZ Barred
    edited January 2024

    Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.

  • My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

  • Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

  • I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps. But I'm slowly getting over it.

  • Laziness Level: I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries

  • The truth is out there; it just hasn't been indexed well.

  • I truly hope there is a stairway to heaven because I have a fear of elevators...

  • If they don't call the next Fast & Furious film "Fast10 Your Seatbelts" I'm going to be furious.

  • If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.

  • What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

  • @wahyuet said:
    Hello, I would like to double the bandwidth.
    Order Number: 5424911785
    Thanks!

    @dustinc

  • You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.

  • One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my salad?"

  • I always knew that I could never be a lawyer because of my inability to pass a bar.

  • I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

  • If you find yourself in a hole. Stop digging.

  • Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

  • An old woman at a wedding told me that I'm next... so I said that to her at a funeral.

  • The best part of being married on Valentine's Day is having all your expectations fulfilled. Because you have no expectations.

  • Don't go through that door that mysteriously opened all by itself in that 300 year old hotel with a tragic past.

  • Before I buy a leaf blower I want to make sure I understand the rules. We just blow the leaves at each other's houses, right?

  • I always wanted to learn to procrastinate... just never got around to it.

  • If a woman has fallen – an idiot will walk by, a gentleman will help her to get up, but a real man will lie down with her.

  • Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?

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