New on LowEndTalk? Please Register and read our Community Rules.
All new Registrations are manually reviewed and approved, so a short delay after registration may occur before your account becomes active.
All new Registrations are manually reviewed and approved, so a short delay after registration may occur before your account becomes active.
REAL DEALS HERE -- WIN BIG WITH THOUSANDS IN PRIZES + RackNerd's NEW YEAR OFFERS! (New Year 2024)
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? "Where on Earth have you been?!"
"No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
WELCOME TO PAGE 530 - TIME FOR FRANK TO TAKE A BREAK !!
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's okay. He woke up.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is "Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?"
I'm really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me "Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace" So I bought her nothing.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness, is realising the other person was born an idiot.
My son asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.
If a short psychic broke out of jail, then you'd have a small medium at large.
I would give my dad what he really wants on Father's Day, but I can't afford to move out yet.
Walking my dog we saw a guy in a suit walking his dog and I know my dog is thinking I don't dress nice for him anymore.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand...
This morning some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself that's a nice Jester.
I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
As a wizard, I enjoy turning objects into a glass. Just wanted to make that clear.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was right—I feel ten years older already.
When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.
Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
I got gas for $1.39 today. Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?