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Win a Real Doll!
crunchbits
Member, Patron Provider, Top Host
Win a Real Crunchbits Doll!
General Reminder: Pay your invoices with your hosts!
What is this?
This is a small LET charity drive supporting Direct Relief.
Donate $10 or more to Direct Relief, prove it, and you will get some hot-and-ready limited Crunchbits merch.
You can also post in this thread to enter for the freebie ones we'll give away as well.
Why now?
This whole thing was supposed to happen much earlier. It did not. That delay is 100% on me.
The short version is: the Crunchbits acquisition happened, and I underestimated how quickly “business as usual” turns into: contracts actually executed, your calendar has 19 meetings you don't even know anything about, you have to download zoom, you need to circle back, get your ducks in a row, and everyone needs to get aligned. It also didn't help that I no longer had full solo goblin control of the purse.
Well, all of that and I really got into bone smashing and avoiding jestermaxxers given my already spiked cortisol.
The hosts who jumped in
Note: Sorry if I forgot any--I actually think there were 2-3 others that indicated support, but via private channels and I keep searching but cannot find the chats
One of the genuinely cool parts of this was seeing other providers immediately offer to participate.
People like to drama-dunk on hosts here. Often deservedly, sometimes creatively, occasionally with carefully cropped screenshots, but the reality is that a lot of the providers on LET put in a stupid amount of work for the love of the game.
Margins are definitely thin. Hardware always goes up to infinity. Customers can be insane (definitely not you guys). Abuse desks feel eternal. Someone is always asking for 768GB RAM, 12TB NVMe, 10Gbps unmetered with primo APAC connectivity and to borrow your lambo when they're in town for $7/year. And yet, somehow, these hosts keep showing up.
These hosts stepped up (in alphabetical order):
@AlexBarakov — AlphaVPS
AlphaVPS has been around forever in LET years, and I am proud to share are definitely not part of the Bulgarian mafia. EU/US VPS, dedicated servers, colocation, actual infrastructure, and the sort of steady presence that makes you realize “boring and reliable” is not an insult in hosting. Alex is a great friend and excellent provider.
@Francisco — NameCrane
Francisco is one of those people who has been part of the low-end ecosystem so long that his LET account is older than the average age of my support staff. NameCrane brings domain management and high performance web hosting infrastructure know-how from someone who has seen enough industry cycles to know exactly where the bodies are buried. Thanks for everything, boss.
@host_c — Host-C
Host-C is truly a stand-up guy. Extremely helpful (likely to a fault) and knowledgeable. His storage offers always kept me up at night. Every time I thought I made some new upgrade: he already did nearly the exact same thing from across the world. Kindred spirits. Practical, infrastructure-minded, and refreshingly helpful. If you need stable compute, low latency, transparent resources, and fast support response then you should be looking here.
@MannDude — IncogNET
IncogNET is one of our oldest federal partners and has carved out a very real lane around privacy-focused hosting, free speech infrastructure, and actually standing for something beyond “we accept crypto and have a VPN affiliate link.” MannDude also has an excellent tan now. A real gem, and has become a good friend.
@servers_guru — servers.guru
servers.guru jumped in instantly as well, and we're lucky to have them here. They bring anonymous, affordable, reliable VPS/cloud/web hosting energy to the table. LET has always had room for providers willing to serve all niches, global users, privacy-conscious buyers, and people who somehow need six servers by Friday. This is evidenced by even very recent threads here where they're solving unique real-life connectivity issues due to global conflicts. @servers_guru is your guy when you need something unique.
The headliner prize: real Crunchbits dolls
Behold:
Yes, these exist.
I had a limited batch of custom Crunchbits fumo-style dolls made because @beanman109 said it was impossible and bet me $100 I couldn't do it.
How to get one
Donate $10 or more directly to Direct Relief.
Then prove it to a reasonable level to me (dm, ticket in our billing portal, however we genuinely can safely verify and delete)
I just need enough to reasonably verify that:
- You donated to Direct Relief.
- The donation was at least $10.
Donor doll pool
Anyone who donates $10+ will get a Crunchbits fumo doll and a red Crunchbits hoodie until we run out of everything. We've got about half a rack worth. Shipping is on us.
Shipping: worldwide where reasonably possible and legal.
Bonus: Special Motivational Images
Each shipped doll will also include a random image from the never-before-seen [redacted] collection.
Maybe I can sneak 1-2 examples into later replies here under @FAT32's nose.
Random active-user giveaway
Because not everyone can donate, and because LET participation is already a form of community service, we will also randomly give away 5 dolls to active LET users who participate in this thread.
That is 1 doll in honor of each host who jumped in.
To qualify for the free active-user draw:
- your LET account must have posted at least 3 times in the last 3 months
- you must post in this thread
- your post must be something more than obvious bot/giveaway groupie
- you must not have an unpaid invoice for active service with the hosts mentioned above
As always, we reserve the right to apply a general LET anti-gaming clause.
Why Direct Relief?
I wanted something global, flexible, and practical.
The LET audience is not just one city or country. It is a strange international pile of sysadmins, students, providers, federal agents, and... IPv6 enjoyers.
So I did not want this tied only to my local area or only to the US.
Direct Relief works in the US and internationally, with a focus on getting medicine, supplies, and medical resources to healthcare providers and communities that need them. They are involved in disaster response, health access, and emergency situations across a wide range of circumstances rather than being tied to one single event.
Crunchbits Donation
Crunchbits started with $4,096. We will community match up to $8,192 (+$4,096 more).
Proof.
Rules / FAQ
Q: Is this shameless?
A: Less than usual.
Q: What if I forgot to pay my invoice?
A: Pay it.
Q: Can I donate more than $10?
A: Yes. Please do. Direct Relief can use it well.
Q: Do I have to be a Crunchbits customer?
A: No. If your only interaction with Crunchbits is posting “crankbis” once in 2023, you are still eligible.
Q: Do you ship worldwide?
A: Yes, within reason.
Q: What counts as an active LET user for the free random draw?
A: At least 3 posts in the last 3 months, plus participation in this thread and points listed above.
This is meant for actual LET users, not “hello sir kindly I am active now” giveaway groupie accounts.
Q: Can I nominate someone else if I win?
A: Sure.
--
Donate if you can.
Post something funny or interesting.
Comments
Lets GOOOO
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to LET!
This is the main event of the evening!
And now... for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world…
Let’s get ready to rumble!
WOW
does the doll have any holes? Send it asap if so.
Yeah, i am also kinda confused as to how the real part is supposed to work.
whats the fair market value
Lovely ❤️
Alright, bet.
I love that you were first with this title.
If you can dream it, you can do it!
I am sorry but dreaming doesn't cut it for me. Nice outfit though!
common crunchbits W
do you have Crunchbits hoodie in XL ?
Seems like a worthy cause.
Let's donate y'all!
I definitely do.
the doll has more holes then you'll know what to do with...
Say @allthemtings , does this fumo doll get you all hot and bothered?
do you have big boy hoodies? like 3x?
I definitely got some when we had the run made, I don’t know how many are left though.
@crunchbits please restock the GPU servers.
Can't wait to pull those pants down.
Do you have any sleeveless hoodies? I'm afraid that the girth from my muscles will test the structural integrity of the fabric.
@skorupion will hand trim yours pre-shipment.
Uhmmmm... deals?
Can't really idle that doll and I run out of places to hang stuff on my backpack.
Doesn't exist, use your own fantasy.
Just like my girlfriend
Rumor has it Synteq built a time machine and you specifically went back to 1845 to "source material and laborers" in rural Alabama.
Can you, and will you, state publicly that the fabric used is ethically sourced and not a result of time travel and/or slave labor?
WOW
crunch bit
fumo
Great charity. Sent a DM. Cheers!