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While I'm not currently running one, and don't have any stats on hand, I personally had good experiences with ejabberd.
Some of our clients are running ejabberd or prosody on our 96mb plan. I don't know what kind of clientbase they have.
Too mainstream.
I run prosody on a 128mb lowendbox without any problems. Two websites and a znc also run on that server.
Only 3 people online most of the time, but from the looks of it, i could easily have a lot more users connected without any problems.
@alfredino, how much memory does it consume?
It's hard to say. Depends on how long it has been running. When running 3 Weeks it consumed ~60MB of memory, but I have no idea how much of that was reserved only. When it is running for 5 minutes it consumes about ~7MB.
So it's really hard to tell. I'd just try it on your own for a couple of days, maybe get 4-5 buddies on it and check on mem usage every now and then.
Prosody and a mailserver (postfix and dovecot) on a 48mb openvz container