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Another update on this for those who are not part of the reflexive hoster defense brigade.
The source of the following ICMP results is the server itself. The destinations are IP addresses on the same(!) /24 CIDR. We can now rule out the theory of the upstream provider as the cause, pointed out by @d2411 as a potential explanation:
I don't think this requires much analysis, but if someone wants to come here and ask why this even matters:
I've also eliminated the possibility that a misconfigured firewall is deprioritizing ICMP while handling TCP as expected. TCP connections also face the same packet loss.
๐๐ผ The goalposts will be moved below ๐๐ผ