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Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way.
Please go play with your brother. That's basically the reason we had him.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
T-shirt is actually short for tyrannosaurus shirt. It's because of the small arms.
I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.
WELCOME TO PAGE 528 - YES ITS SUPPOSE TO BE A PARTY !!!
Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you're forgetting.
he book on chronology I ordered has finally arrived. It's about time...
The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it.
I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.
When you get to your wit's end, You'll find God lives there.
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to figure out it was just a Fanta sea.
TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.
If a church wants a better pastor, It only needs to pray for the one it has.
A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
Never laugh at your girlfriends choices... your one of them.
A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.
Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons. They forgot to mention Morons.
My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she's way out of my league.
I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade".
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.
Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.
Before I tell my wife something important, I take both her hands in mine. That way she can't hit me with them.
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...