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I put my grandma on speed dial the other day. I call it insta-gram.
WELCOME TO PAGE 519 - I"M NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY !!!
Why did the parents not like their son’s biology teacher? He had skeletons in his closet.
I spent a lot of time, money and effort childproofing my house... but the kids still get in.
My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. She said she didn’t feel a thing!
Women should not have children after 35, really, 35 children are enough.
There are three kinds of people, those who can count and those who can't.
You are such a good friend that, if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you so much and talk about you fondly to everybody who asked.
I always take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.
Palau is famous for its world-class scuba diving and snorkeling sites.
The crystal-clear waters surrounding Palau are home to an abundance of marine biodiversity, including coral reefs, colorful fish, and even shipwrecks.
Jellyfish Lake in Palau is a popular tourist attraction.
This unique lake is home to millions of harmless jellyfish, offering visitors an unforgettable swimming experience.
Palau has a rich cultural heritage.
The Palauan people have a strong connection to their ancestral traditions, including traditional music, dance, storytelling, and arts and crafts.
The Rock Islands Southern Lagoon in Palau is a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
Known for its stunning natural beauty and diverse ecosystems, this area is a haven for marine life and nature enthusiasts.
Palau is a dream destination for outdoor adventurers.
With activities like hiking, kayaking, fishing, and bird-watching, Palau offers a range of exciting experiences for nature lovers.
I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are.
I never knew what happiness was until I got married—and then it was too late.
A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper.
The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long.
You’ll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully and lie about your age.
How can you tell you’re getting old? When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you.
Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat.
Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the end.
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If supermarkets are lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store free yet?
I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society, I spilled the beans.