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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
“Nothing is more natural than mutual misunderstanding; the contrary is always surprising. I believe that one never agrees on anything except by mistake, and that all harmony among human beings is the happy fruit of an error.”
― Paul Valery, The Art of Poetry
“Comes the tipping point in life, when we decide to a ‘stop and search’ and our emotional police bring us to a standstill. This allows us to scan all the little details in the spectrum of our being; scour all fuzzy or cryptic elements that are floating around in our mind and restore the fault lines in the cluttered tale of our life. ("The world was somewhere else")”
― Erik Pevernagie
“If you envy successful people, you create a negative force field of attraction
that repels you from ever doing the things that you need to do to be successful.
If you admire successful people, you create a positive force field of attraction
that draws you toward becoming more and more like the kinds of people that
you want to be like.”
― Brian Tracy
“It was like when you ripped a piece of paper into two: no matter how you tried, the seams never fit exactly right again.”
― Sarah Dessen, What Happened to Goodbye
Why did the car get a flat tire? Because there was a fork in the road.
“Associate with the noblest people you can find; read the best books; live with the mighty; but learn to be happy alone.”
― Saul Bellow, Ravelstein
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
“Don't dwell on things. Don't stay in one place too long. It was the only way to stay ahead of sadness.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero
How did the Vikings communicate? With Norse code.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
“Our sweetest songs are those of saddest thought.”
― Percy Bysshe Shelley, The Complete Poems
“Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.”
― Bill Hicks
“Because you can only die once but you can suffer forever.”
― Shaun David Hutchinson, We Are the Ants
“It isn’t a sadness, but a joy, that we don’t do the same things for the length of our lives.”
― Gabrielle Zevin, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
“The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.”
― Quentin Crisp
“When I pretended to be precocious, people started the rumor that I was precocious. When I acted like an idler, rumor had it I was an idler. When I pretended I couldn't write a novel, people said I couldn't write. When I acted like a liar, they called me a liar. When I acted like a rich man, they started the rumor I was rich. When I feigned indifference, they classed me as the indifferent type. But when I inadvertently groaned because I was really in pain, they started the rumor that I was faking suffering. The world is out of joint.”
― Osamu Dazai, The Setting Sun
“It doesn't matter who you are, or where you come from, or how much money you've got in your pocket. You have your own destiny and your own life ahead of you.”
― Lady Gaga
“This world
that was our home
for a brief spell
never brought us anything
but pain and grief;
its a shame that not one of our problems
was ever solved.
We depart
with a thousand regrets
in our hearts.”
― Omar Khayyám
“Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair.
Even when all doors remain closed, God wil open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that has been denied.”
― Elif Shafak
“She laughed for her wasted, difficult life that never had to be wasted or difficult in the first place.”
― Leslye Walton, The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender
“That's all you can do in this world, no matter how strong the current beats against you, or how heavy your burden, or how tragic your love story. You keep going.”
― Robyn Schneider, Extraordinary Means
What do you call a well-dressed lion? A dandelion.
“My heart is too thoroughly dried to be broken in a hurry, and I mean to live as long as I can.”
― Anne Brontë, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
“My heart is too thoroughly dried to be broken in a hurry, and I mean to live as long as I can.”
― Anne Brontë, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall
What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
There were two muffins in an oven, and one said, “It’s getting hot in here, isn’t it?” The other muffin gasped, “Aah! A talking muffin!”
What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.
What do you call a female chicken staring at a pile of lettuce? A Chicken Caesar Salad.