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WELCOME TO PAGE 28 - THE PAGE OF THE .....
Sometimes When My Neighbor Is Gone, I Roll Around In Her Garden And Pretend I’m Carrot.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
When nothing is going right, go left.
I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
What do dogs do on their day off?
Can’t lie around – that’s their day job!
If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!
If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.
I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but thankfully, I turned myself around.
This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I don't suffer from insanity. I totally enjoy every minute of it.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.