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OFFICIAL B-L-A-C-K-F-R-I-D-A-Y THREAD -- COMMUNITY ENDORSED! Take a peek! (RackNerd's Black Friday)
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A joke from stupidstuff
A blonde dyed her hair to red one day, then she takes a walk down the road and comes upon a farm. She walks up to the fenced yard where the farmer is counting his sheeps. The farmer said hello and that if she guessed how many he had, then she can keep one. The blonde thought it was a great idea, so she starts counting in her head. She finally guessed 26, which was RIGHT!!! The farmer was amazed, but he kept his word. She climbed over the fence and back with the animal in her arms. The farmer takes one look at her and the animal and says, " If I guess what natural hair color you have, can i have my dog back?"
A joke from stupidstuff
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert because their car broke down. The redhead grabs some water, the brunette grabs some food, and the blonde grabs the car door. They began walking, when the redhead turns to the brunette and says," Why did you bring the food?" She replies, " Well in case i get hungry, i can eat it. Why did you bring water?" The redhead replies, " Well in case i get thirsty, i can drink it." Then they both turn to the blonde and say, " Why did you bring the car door?" She replies, " Well in case i get hot, i can roll down the window."
A joke from stupidstuff
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were running away from the cops. They ran into a barn, and each hid in a sack. The cops came and kicked the sack with the redhead in it, she said, "meow..." The cops said, " It's just a cat," and goes on and kicks the sack with the brunette. She says, " woof..." The cops say, " It's just a dog." They kick the sack with the blonde and she says, " Potatoe..."
A joke from stupidstuff
A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guyyells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?' A deathlysilencetranscends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next tohimsays: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Thebartenderis blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with ablack belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blondeand she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's apro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tellthatjoke?"The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have toexplain it five times."
A joke from stupidstuff
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?Gifted
A joke from stupidstuff
Bill and Hillary Clinton went out to dinner and when the waiter came to take their order, he asked Bill how he wanted his steak, she replied, "medium."
Then the waiter said, "how about your vegetable?" Bill replied, "Oh, she can order for herself."
A joke from stupidstuff
One day two blondes decided to take a trip to Disney Land. They were riding down the road and all of a sudden they came to a fork in the road and a sign said disneyland left. So they looked at eachother and said dangget and went back home.
A joke from stupidstuff
there were three people walking on the street.a smart blonde, a stupid blonde and santa clause.suddenly, they see on the ground 100$.question : wich of them pick it up ? Answer:the stupid blonde !Why?because the smart blonde and santa clause don't exist, they are fiction.
A joke from stupidstuff
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
A joke from stupidstuff
You and your two blonde friends (Melisa and Sarah) are stranded on a desert island.You have no food at all with you and you are all starving.Then you guys found a piece of bologna.None of you want to share it and you guys don't know how to decide who keeps it.Then you said that whoever had the best dream would win the bologna.The next day you ask Melisa what her dream was. She said that she dreamed that she was rich.Then you asked Sarah what her dream was. She said that she dreamed that she was richer than Melisa.Then they asked you what your dream was.You said that you didn't have a dream but you wrote a poem.They asked you what it was.You said: "Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony.While you guys were all asleep I ate the damn bologna!"
A joke from stupidstuff
Two blondes went to the market. While they were there, they each bought a horse. When they got home, they discussed how to tell their horses apart. They decided to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew back, so they decided that they would break one of the horses' legs. One of the blondes said, "Which of the horses should we break the leg off of, the brown one or the white one?".
A joke from stupidstuff
Q: How do you get the blonde to turn on the light after sex?A: tell her to open the car doorQ:what did the blondes' left leg say to the right leg?A: Nobody knows, they've never met
Go @sonu Go.
A joke from stupidstuff
There was a blonde, a brunette, a red-head and a bald woman stuck on a desert island.The brunette decided to swim home, but got 1/3 of the way there and drowned, The red-had decided to try, but drowned 1/4 of the way there. The blonde decide that she had to risk it, so she swam 1/2 of the way there when she stopped and swam back."why did you come all the way back, when you were half way home?" screamed the bald woman. "well", said the blonde "I was going to carry on, but I got tired and thought I'd rest first".
How can I say my life is not a success?
Have I not for almost seventy years gotten enough to eat and escaped being eaten?
A joke from stupidstuff
Two blondes walk in to a building.You'd think one of them would have seen the building.
A joke from stupidstuff
Whats a blondes favorite nursury rhyme?humpme dumpme
I am asking one more time for bobs and vegana.
A joke from stupidstuff
This blonde went in an electrical store for a microve. She asked can i please have that microve? the guy said no you blonde. She goes dyes her head black after that she went to the shop can i please have that microve? the guy said no you blonde. so she goes dyes her hair all different colours after that she went to the shop can i please have that microve? How do you know I'm a blonde? the guy said because your pointeting to a fridge
A joke from stupidstuff
A blonde was sick and tired of hearing jokes about being dumb. She decided to dye her hair
black and set out to prove to the world just how wrong they were about blondes.
She drove out of the city and into the country where there were many sheep farms. She spotted
a sheep farmer, stopped her car and said, "If I can tell you exactly how many sheep are in
your field, will you give me a sheep?" He said "Sure!" She counted and said "131." The farmer
said, "That's Right! Go ahead and get a sheep." The blonde went and got her sheep.
Then, the farmer said, "If I tell you what color your hair really is, can I have it back?" and
she said, "Yes."
"Blonde. Now give me back my dog.".
A joke from stupidstuff
A blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who hit the ground first?The brunette, cos the blonde stopped to asked for directions!!!
Those poor blondes
A joke from stupidstuff
A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color."
The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. "In this room, I was thinking of an off blue." Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!"
This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!"
Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?"
The contractor replied, "Because I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."
Can we do that here ?
A joke from stupidstuff
A blonde and a brunette were walking down the basement stairs in the dark to find a wrench when the blonde screamed. "Something brushed against my rightr leg!!" "Oh My Gosh. Are you sure?" "Yea and it keeps doing it." she said as she ran around the basement. Then she stopped and thought for a second. "Hold up. That was just my left leg.
A joke from stupidstuff
There was a blonde, a brunette and a red-head stuck on a deserted island. They were searching for food one day when they found a genie lamp. They each rubbed it and a genie popped up. He said "Since you all found my lamp I will give you a wish each. The brunette said "I wish I was 10% smarter so I can get off this island." She swam off the island. The red-head seeing what the blonde did said "I wish I was 25% smarter to get off this island." She built a raft out of leaves and branches. The blonde seeing what they did said "I wish I was 50% smarter to get off this island." The blonde turned into a man and walked over the bridge.
A joke from stupidstuff
One day a blonde was broke and didn't know what to do. So she decided to kidnap a child. She went over to the play ground and saw plenty of little kids running around. She picked out this one little boy and went over and grabbed him. She told the little boy she was going to kidnap and the little boy knowing she was a blonde didn't mind at all. The blonde wrote a note as the following:To whom it may concern:I have just kidnapped your little boy and I want one million dollars in a paper bag under the peach tree at noon. Sincerely a blondeAfter she was finished the note she pinned the note to his shirt and sent home. The next day the blonde she went to the peach tree at noon and there was a brown paper bag. All the money was there but there was a little note. It said:Dear a blonde:Your money is all there I just wanted to know how you could do this to another blonde.
A joke from stupidstuff
A blonde and a brunette were walking down the dark basement stairs to find a wrench. When they were half way down the stairs the blonde screamed. "What's wrong?" "Something brushed against my right leg!!" So both the brunette and the blonde were running around the basement screaming. "I keep feeling it!! Make it stop! Wait" The blonde said. "That was just my left leg!"
A joke from stupidstuff
A blonde a brunette and a red-head were stuck on a deserted island. When they were searching for food one day they found a genie's lamp. They all rubbed it at the same time. The genie popped out and said "Since you all rubbed my lamp at the same time, you get one wish each." The blonde went first "I wish I was 10% smarter to get off this island." The next thing you knew it she was swimming away from the island. Seeing what she did the brunette said "I wish I was 25% smarter to get off this island." The next thing you knew it she was making a raft out of branches and leaves. In the next 10 minutes she was off the island. Seeing what they both did the red-head said " I wish I was 50 % smarter to get off this island." The next thing you knew it she became a man and walked over the bridge.
A joke from stupidstuff
The Secret Service was looking for more employees. They put up a sign and the next day they picked the next three people. They brought the first guy into a room and gave him a pistol and said" Your wife is in that room go in and shoot her" The guy looked at them and said" No I can't do it" So the Secret Service brought out the next guy and told him the same thing and handed him the gun. "He went into the room and came back out but he didn't want to shoot her. So the Secret Service who was really desperate brought the last person in. She was a blonde so they were worried. They said" Your husbandis in that room and I want you to shoot him." "Alright" she announced. She went into the room and the Secret Service heard alot of crashing and banging. They went in and found the man dead. "What the hell is going on" "Oh The gun was a blank so I beat him to death with a chair."