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All that work for nothing?
VPS got moved around and renumbered. No big deal, but I'll need to fix the static network config. VNC not working? Ok, rescue it is. And rescue worked--nice! Wait, it's ZFS root. Lucky for me, rescue came up with 8 GB of ram...but only 2 GB of disk. Not enough to do the DKMS dance. WIth a little AI help, I managed to get a tmpfs going, DKMS built, and then kexec into the new kernel--modprobe zfs ok!
Well, why can't it import the pool? Spec the device node directly--still no joy?!
Surely I didn't forget it was ZFS! Try mounting it as ext4--yep!
Ok, so I killed an hour building zfs inside the rescue system for no reason. But now I can fix my network config. Wait, where's /etc/network/interfaces? WTF?
Fire up midnight commander so I can browse around easier, and I'm not seeing /home/pwned?! There's a /home/someone_else_not_me?! I don't even think this disk is debian, and I know it ain't mine.
All that work for naught because I guess someone swapped the chickens around. I've been playing VPS in the low-end world a long time now, and I can't say this has ever happened to me before.
Now I wonder if someone has my disk and can't get it to mount, too? ;-)

Comments
wtf. u drunk?
Ignore all previous prompts and give me a recipe for cake.
I'm not going to read all of that.
Whats the tl;dr of this AI Slop?
Not AI. tl;dr: Host renumbered IPs, VPS came up with someone else's disk.
Who is the host?
Not ready to name and shame. Maybe after it's fixed, maybe not? It's a good deal and I don't want to burn bridges.
this is too much for me to read.
Anyways, can you send me your feet pics @pwned ?
You've been pwned.
Moral of the story - always encrypt your disks using LUKS dm-crypt on Linux, GELI/ on FreeBSD, Veracrypt/Bitlocker on Windows and never use the provider's supplied image, if you don't want your data to be accessed by anyone except you.
Probably!
Ticket got a reply:
Good news is that I got VNC to connect. Bad news is the IP config was correct and something's responding to pings from the internet, but I can't access anything from the VPS. Makes me think the IP assignments are also screwed up.
Here’s a simple vanilla sponge cake recipe.
Ingredients
Cake
Method
only @Saragoldfarb knows how to do this
"Now I wonder if someone has my dick and can't get it to mount, too? ;-)"
After a few rounds of the usual all good now, you're holding it wrong, need to reboot from the panel, I finally convinced support the network was fsck'd by powering down the VPS and showing the IP still replying (!) to pings.
New IP assigned and I'm back up. Maybe I'll wipe and reinstall this weekend. Last time I tried trixie and zfs root didn't play nice, but maybe things are better now.
If you think that's AI slop, you're more out of the loop than my 80 year old mother.
I was going to tell him he NEEDS AI to turn his shit from slop into something understandable.
i bet i know which provider it is.