2025 Black Friday / Cyber Monday: FLASH SALE & MEGATHREAD - "The Trade War"

jnd

I'm glad I don't need US servers, I'm saving a lot of money.

alain

gogogo

JohnFilch123

yessssss

Hiyurigi

419

emperor

lets gooooooooooo

ShadowLurker

yasss

JohnFilch123

we are so close, I started to sweat.

Saragoldfarb

@itsTomHarper said:

@AlteredParadox said:

@Saragoldfarb said:
Let's do;it!

# The Legend of ItsTomHarper and the Server Tyrant

In the gleaming data centers of the Cloud Realm, no name rang more true than ItsTomHarper, the legendary curator of server deals. His posts on the ancient forums of LowEndTalk were the stuff of legend—$2/year VPS instances with actual uptime, dedicated servers for the price of a sandwich, bandwidth so generous it made enterprise admins weep with envy.

Tom sat in his modest office, surrounded by monitors displaying ping times and benchmark scores, when the ceiling suddenly tore open in a swirl of violet and gold light. Down descended Saragoldfarb, a being of impossible proportions, her skin shimmering between purplish hues and metallic gold. Her voice boomed like a thousand overloaded Apache servers.

"ITSTOMHARPER! I HAVE CROSSED THE GALACTIC BACKBONE TO CLAIM YOU!"

Before Tom could alt-tab away, tendrils of light wrapped around him, and he was yanked through dimensions, landing with a thud in a basement that stretched endlessly in all directions. Server racks lined the walls, but every screen displayed the same message: PAYMENT DECLINED.

"You will find me deals," Saragoldfarb commanded, her massive form blocking the only exit. "Free servers! Unlimited bandwidth! Storage beyond measure! And you will do it forever!"

Days turned to weeks. Tom was forced to scan forums, negotiate with hosts, and compile deal lists while Saragoldfarb loomed over him, her purple-gold essence pulsing with anticipation. But she grew greedy—no deal was good enough, no discount deep enough.

Tom noticed something, though. In the corner of the basement sat an ancient machine labeled "The Motherboard." It hummed with primordial energy, clearly the source of Saragoldfarb's power to traverse dimensions. And next to it, carelessly abandoned, was a drum of coolant—viscous, purple, marked with warnings in languages both human and alien.

One evening, as Saragoldfarb demanded he find servers with "negative pricing" (impossible, Tom had explained seventeen times), he put his plan into motion.

"I found it," Tom said quietly. "The ultimate deal."

Saragoldfarb's eyes widened, gold flecks dancing in purple voids. "SHOW ME!"

Tom gestured to The Motherboard. "It's in the system logs. You'll need to check the physical console."

As Saragoldfarb bent down, her massive form contorting to peer at the ancient screen, Tom moved. With the precision of someone who'd optimized a thousand server configurations, he kicked the coolant drum. It tipped, rolled, and then—with Tom's well-timed leap onto its side—burst open.

A tidal wave of purple goo erupted forth, splashing over Saragoldfarb with the force of a DDoS attack. She shrieked, her form flickering and sputtering like a server with corrupted RAM. The purple coolant reacted with her purple-gold essence, neutralizing her power in a spectacular display of incompatible protocols.

"NOOOOO! MY BANDWIDTH! MY UPTIME!"

Tom didn't wait to watch her dissolve into a puddle of defeat. He sprinted to The Motherboard, his fingers flying across the keyboard with muscle memory born of countless late-night server migrations. Three commands. One reboot. The basement shimmered.

He tumbled back through dimensions, landing in his office chair just as his coffee finished brewing.

Behind him, through the closing portal, he could see Saragoldfarb, reduced to a sad, goo-covered heap, her voice barely a whisper: "But... the deals..."

The portal snapped shut.

Tom took a sip of coffee, cracked his knuckles, and opened LowEndTalk. Time to post a new deal thread. After all, the people deserved quality hosting at impossible prices.

But this time, he added a disclaimer: *No interdimensional tyrants. Serious inquiries only.*

Bruh wtf am I reading??

I'll read it a bit later. Laser focussed

op23

Let’s go comrades!!!!!

Ramsterdam

jnd

Page 420 is rapidly approaching

Neoon

CHICKEN!!!!

Saragoldfarb

ShOooooooWwww Meewe @itsTomHarper !!!

AlteredParadox

@Saragoldfarb said:

@itsTomHarper said:

@AlteredParadox said:

@Saragoldfarb said:
Let's do;it!

# The Legend of ItsTomHarper and the Server Tyrant

In the gleaming data centers of the Cloud Realm, no name rang more true than ItsTomHarper, the legendary curator of server deals. His posts on the ancient forums of LowEndTalk were the stuff of legend—$2/year VPS instances with actual uptime, dedicated servers for the price of a sandwich, bandwidth so generous it made enterprise admins weep with envy.

Tom sat in his modest office, surrounded by monitors displaying ping times and benchmark scores, when the ceiling suddenly tore open in a swirl of violet and gold light. Down descended Saragoldfarb, a being of impossible proportions, her skin shimmering between purplish hues and metallic gold. Her voice boomed like a thousand overloaded Apache servers.

"ITSTOMHARPER! I HAVE CROSSED THE GALACTIC BACKBONE TO CLAIM YOU!"

Before Tom could alt-tab away, tendrils of light wrapped around him, and he was yanked through dimensions, landing with a thud in a basement that stretched endlessly in all directions. Server racks lined the walls, but every screen displayed the same message: PAYMENT DECLINED.

"You will find me deals," Saragoldfarb commanded, her massive form blocking the only exit. "Free servers! Unlimited bandwidth! Storage beyond measure! And you will do it forever!"

Days turned to weeks. Tom was forced to scan forums, negotiate with hosts, and compile deal lists while Saragoldfarb loomed over him, her purple-gold essence pulsing with anticipation. But she grew greedy—no deal was good enough, no discount deep enough.

Tom noticed something, though. In the corner of the basement sat an ancient machine labeled "The Motherboard." It hummed with primordial energy, clearly the source of Saragoldfarb's power to traverse dimensions. And next to it, carelessly abandoned, was a drum of coolant—viscous, purple, marked with warnings in languages both human and alien.

One evening, as Saragoldfarb demanded he find servers with "negative pricing" (impossible, Tom had explained seventeen times), he put his plan into motion.

"I found it," Tom said quietly. "The ultimate deal."

Saragoldfarb's eyes widened, gold flecks dancing in purple voids. "SHOW ME!"

Tom gestured to The Motherboard. "It's in the system logs. You'll need to check the physical console."

As Saragoldfarb bent down, her massive form contorting to peer at the ancient screen, Tom moved. With the precision of someone who'd optimized a thousand server configurations, he kicked the coolant drum. It tipped, rolled, and then—with Tom's well-timed leap onto its side—burst open.

A tidal wave of purple goo erupted forth, splashing over Saragoldfarb with the force of a DDoS attack. She shrieked, her form flickering and sputtering like a server with corrupted RAM. The purple coolant reacted with her purple-gold essence, neutralizing her power in a spectacular display of incompatible protocols.

"NOOOOO! MY BANDWIDTH! MY UPTIME!"

Tom didn't wait to watch her dissolve into a puddle of defeat. He sprinted to The Motherboard, his fingers flying across the keyboard with muscle memory born of countless late-night server migrations. Three commands. One reboot. The basement shimmered.

He tumbled back through dimensions, landing in his office chair just as his coffee finished brewing.

Behind him, through the closing portal, he could see Saragoldfarb, reduced to a sad, goo-covered heap, her voice barely a whisper: "But... the deals..."

The portal snapped shut.

Tom took a sip of coffee, cracked his knuckles, and opened LowEndTalk. Time to post a new deal thread. After all, the people deserved quality hosting at impossible prices.

But this time, he added a disclaimer: *No interdimensional tyrants. Serious inquiries only.*

Bruh wtf am I reading??

I'll read it a bit later. Laser focussed

it is a glorious unchecked unedited AI story about itstomharpers triumph over the evil alien saragoldfarb

dTQzBen8

419

jnd

@Neoon said:
CHICKEN!!!!

mini chick

Zyra

one more page

JohnFilch123

ALMOST

bchot

15 more nonsensical messages to follow

Zyra

gogo

Saragoldfarb

@AlteredParadox said:

@Saragoldfarb said:

@itsTomHarper said:

@AlteredParadox said:

@Saragoldfarb said:
Let's do;it!

# The Legend of ItsTomHarper and the Server Tyrant

In the gleaming data centers of the Cloud Realm, no name rang more true than ItsTomHarper, the legendary curator of server deals. His posts on the ancient forums of LowEndTalk were the stuff of legend—$2/year VPS instances with actual uptime, dedicated servers for the price of a sandwich, bandwidth so generous it made enterprise admins weep with envy.

Tom sat in his modest office, surrounded by monitors displaying ping times and benchmark scores, when the ceiling suddenly tore open in a swirl of violet and gold light. Down descended Saragoldfarb, a being of impossible proportions, her skin shimmering between purplish hues and metallic gold. Her voice boomed like a thousand overloaded Apache servers.

"ITSTOMHARPER! I HAVE CROSSED THE GALACTIC BACKBONE TO CLAIM YOU!"

Before Tom could alt-tab away, tendrils of light wrapped around him, and he was yanked through dimensions, landing with a thud in a basement that stretched endlessly in all directions. Server racks lined the walls, but every screen displayed the same message: PAYMENT DECLINED.

"You will find me deals," Saragoldfarb commanded, her massive form blocking the only exit. "Free servers! Unlimited bandwidth! Storage beyond measure! And you will do it forever!"

Days turned to weeks. Tom was forced to scan forums, negotiate with hosts, and compile deal lists while Saragoldfarb loomed over him, her purple-gold essence pulsing with anticipation. But she grew greedy—no deal was good enough, no discount deep enough.

Tom noticed something, though. In the corner of the basement sat an ancient machine labeled "The Motherboard." It hummed with primordial energy, clearly the source of Saragoldfarb's power to traverse dimensions. And next to it, carelessly abandoned, was a drum of coolant—viscous, purple, marked with warnings in languages both human and alien.

One evening, as Saragoldfarb demanded he find servers with "negative pricing" (impossible, Tom had explained seventeen times), he put his plan into motion.

"I found it," Tom said quietly. "The ultimate deal."

Saragoldfarb's eyes widened, gold flecks dancing in purple voids. "SHOW ME!"

Tom gestured to The Motherboard. "It's in the system logs. You'll need to check the physical console."

As Saragoldfarb bent down, her massive form contorting to peer at the ancient screen, Tom moved. With the precision of someone who'd optimized a thousand server configurations, he kicked the coolant drum. It tipped, rolled, and then—with Tom's well-timed leap onto its side—burst open.

A tidal wave of purple goo erupted forth, splashing over Saragoldfarb with the force of a DDoS attack. She shrieked, her form flickering and sputtering like a server with corrupted RAM. The purple coolant reacted with her purple-gold essence, neutralizing her power in a spectacular display of incompatible protocols.

"NOOOOO! MY BANDWIDTH! MY UPTIME!"

Tom didn't wait to watch her dissolve into a puddle of defeat. He sprinted to The Motherboard, his fingers flying across the keyboard with muscle memory born of countless late-night server migrations. Three commands. One reboot. The basement shimmered.

He tumbled back through dimensions, landing in his office chair just as his coffee finished brewing.

Behind him, through the closing portal, he could see Saragoldfarb, reduced to a sad, goo-covered heap, her voice barely a whisper: "But... the deals..."

The portal snapped shut.

Tom took a sip of coffee, cracked his knuckles, and opened LowEndTalk. Time to post a new deal thread. After all, the people deserved quality hosting at impossible prices.

But this time, he added a disclaimer: *No interdimensional tyrants. Serious inquiries only.*

Bruh wtf am I reading??

I'll read it a bit later. Laser focussed

it is a glorious unchecked unedited AI story about itstomharpers triumph over the evil alien saragoldfarb

Dang...

dvi9qu

@Saragoldfarb said:
Hope the Mjjs stay away

Quoting a writer's words, I'd say MJJs are like locusts, wherever they go, they destroy everything and leave a mess behind.

emperor

thereeeeeeee

Yarmeli

oooh what's got everyone hyped?

JohnFilch123

around the corner

dTQzBen8

@FAT32 said:

30/11 18:30

TNAHosting: $99/yr 16GB Ryzen VPS in US

• 5 vCPU (Ryzen)
• 16B RAM
• 320GB NVMe
• 120TB Bandwidth
• Location: Chicago US
• Quantity: 3
• Coupon code: FLASHBF202516GB
• $99/yr

One Time Discount

Zyra

@Yarmeli said:
oooh what's got everyone hyped?

4/y$ chicken usa

CharlesJohnson

GO

Saragoldfarb

What... Getting close... And I was about to go for a quick smoke...

cloud

@HostSlick said:

@HostSlick said:

@zGato said:
@HostSlick time to drop some crazy €99/yr dedi deal

Dedicated Server SM-E3-1280-V3-16GB-120GB Specifications

CPU - Intel Xeon E3-1280-V3 @3,80Ghz, Turbo 4Ghz
Cores/Threads - 4 Cores, 8Threads @4.00Ghz
RAM - 16GB DDR4 ECC RAM
SSD/HDD - 1x 240GB Intel Datacenter SSD
Port Speed - 1 Gbps UNMETERED
IP Addresse(s) - 1
KVM/Managment - Yes
Location - Netherlands (EU)

99€/year
ORDER
CRYPTO ONLY

setup within 24h

Looking Glass
https://lg.hostslick.com

I drop a very very last one, i have few of this units:

Black-Friday Dedicated Server - Dual E5-2660v2 - 128GB DDR RAM - 1x 1TB SSD

CPU - Dual Intel XEON E5-2660v2
Cores/Threads - 20 Cores, 40 Threads @ 3,30Ghz Turbo
RAM - 128GB DDR3 ECC RAM
SSD/HDD - 1x 1TB SSD
RAID - Hardware RAID
Port Speed - 1Gbit Unmetered on 10G Port
IP Addresse(s) - 1
KVM/Managment - Yes
Location - Netherlands (EU)

299€/yr (comes down to like 24/m)
ORDER

setup within 24h

DDR IGNORE

Good timing