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Funny tickets thread

Funny tickets thread

dominicldominicl Member
edited September 2012 in General

What funny tickets have you had?

I had a ticket from someone who had just purchased a VPS without any management/control panel saying:

I Am oder License History for IPHERE OK

Help Me Update License History for IPHERE For VPS Now
«1

Comments

  • I keep waiting for the funny ones. Surprisingly every client has been a pleasure to deal with, even in the abuse cases. Surely it can only last so long...

  • DamianDamian Member
    edited September 2012

    Sharing tickets is VERBOTEN!!!!! image

    Reference http://www.lowendtalk.com/discussion/4516/ipxcore-current-status for more information.

    I am no longer affiliated with IPXcore.
    Thanked by 2Spencer ihatetonyy
  • @jarland said: I keep waiting for the funny ones.

    Haha, yeah. Me too. It's always good to see funny tickets.

    And @Damian - I'm not sharing any clients personal information, or IP address or anything. It's merely text, which could have come from anywhere. NO client information is being shared ;)

    Thanked by 1eastonch
  • InfinityInfinity Retired Staff
    edited September 2012

    There are many many tickets I've seen that I've flooded my house with piss at, but they actually do reveal a bit of client information and I can't be arsed finding them all. @dominicl is safe, he's not revealing any customer info other than their writing "patterns", for all we know this could be made up.

    我是一个巨魔 (;

  • gsrdgrdghdgsrdgrdghd Member without signature

    @dominicl said: I Am oder License History for IPHERE OK

    Help Me Update License History for IPHERE For VPS Now

    lol nice one, i wonder how such people are able to even order a VPS :D

  • @gsrdgrdghd said: lol nice one, i wonder how such people are able to even order a VPS :D

    Yeah, then I asked them to elaborate and it went on..and on..

  • Aslong as the post can't be traced back to the original sender... Then there should be no problem. :)

  • I'm sure any Minecraft hosts here will win this thread.

    RamNode: High Performance SSD and SSD-Cached VPS
    New York - Atlanta - Seattle - Netherlands - IPv6 - DDoS Protection - AS3842
  • Oh, and this just came in:

    "I have used 4 vps's so far and all were openvz and had same issue website down. So i request you to give me 1 month trial of your 2048MB SVZ package and if i dont face any problem i will buy your vps not only this but i can give you geniune positive review on forums like webhostingtalk,digitalpoint,v7n which can bring you more customers for sure."

    RamNode: High Performance SSD and SSD-Cached VPS
    New York - Atlanta - Seattle - Netherlands - IPv6 - DDoS Protection - AS3842
  • @Nick_A said: I'm sure any Minecraft hosts here will win this thread.

    LOL yes, all the 11 year olds ordering a MC server with mommy's credit card. :P

    Shane Elmore | Programmer In Progress

  • @Nick_A said: I have used 4 vps's so far and all were openvz and had same issue website down.

    Learn how to manage a VPS then. That's what you should have replied.

  • @Nick_A said: I'm sure any Minecraft hosts here will win this thread.

    :)

    SimpleNode | Minecraft and VPS Hosting | KVM and OpenVZ | Dallas, TX and Phoenix, AZ | PayPal and BitCoins accepted

  • Hm.. That's kid. Why don't they just setup their own Minecraft server of their own PC and connect it to LAN? The new Minecraft is having this option

    My blog | Server Uptime | I'm not working for any providers in here, all my comments just my own opinion.image
  • @ErawanArifNugroho Because they want their server to be public?

    SimpleNode | Minecraft and VPS Hosting | KVM and OpenVZ | Dallas, TX and Phoenix, AZ | PayPal and BitCoins accepted

    Thanked by 1ErawanArifNugroho
  • @SimpleNode ah.. right, forgot about it :D

    My blog | Server Uptime | I'm not working for any providers in here, all my comments just my own opinion.image
  • @ErawanArifNugroho Don't forget about the parents who won't let them run the server 24/7.

    When you find that perfect VPS, KEEP IT.

  • Not a ticket I received, however a ticket I lodged... ;)

    image

    LowEndTalk has guidelines? | Follow LowEndNetwork on twitter & win!
  • @Chief is that 100TB's Helpdesk? looks like it :o

  • @Randy said: @Chief is that 100TB's Helpdesk? looks like it :o

    "RE: Ticket 2719" "http://noc.fiberhub.com/client/ticket_view.php?ticket=2719"

    SimpleNode | Minecraft and VPS Hosting | KVM and OpenVZ | Dallas, TX and Phoenix, AZ | PayPal and BitCoins accepted

    Thanked by 1dominicl
  • opps, missed that, thanks for pointing out

  • InfinityInfinity Retired Staff
    edited September 2012

    @Randy said: @Chief is that 100TB's Helpdesk? looks like it :o

    That's Ubersmith you nob. :P

    我是一个巨魔 (;

  • @Infinity said: That's Ubersmith you nob.

    :)!

  • @Infinity said: That's Ubersmith you nob. :P well, i don't use Ubersmith :D

  • It did say the link in the screenshot...FIBERHUB.

    Thanked by 1Infinity
  • RandyRandy Disabled
    edited September 2012

    and? you did reply already?

    @dominicl said at 12:07AM: @Randy - http://www.fiberhub.com/

  • He's reinforcing your stupidity.

    I work for Nodisto.

    Thanked by 2Randy Infinity
  • @Randy said: well, i don't use Ubersmith

    Is that because it actually costs a lot of money?

    Hostigation High Resource Hosting - SolusVM OpenVZ/KVM VPS
  • @miTgiB It's not worth it imo, with a price rate of $200/mo+ and per VM you would be better of paying $2-3k on a custom one that you use for life then UB and make it look better as well

  • HC_RoHC_Ro Member
    edited September 2012

    Anyone to guess who it is? First person to guess gets a present.

    Hello, the reason why i am Here today is because i am student, i am 18 years old, im a Freelancer and im From Australia. Now i have a Gaming Website, Forum and Shoutcast Radio, i would be happly to Work for you Remotly, advertise you on my WEBSITE, FORUM and on my Radio plus othe forums an Websites, also ill do reviews and ill be afflited. Now i Dont really have a Lot of money, so yea. Do you think you could ever be so kind, give me curtesy and do me a Very Special 1 time Deal on your Windows VPS, Reseller i also need a New Domain. The company i bought my Other Domain off (swaghost.org), hacked, scammed and Suspended my Domain without any Reason. IM terrable upset about that and i need my domain, so umm yea. What do you think ?

  • @StormVZ said: paying $2-3k on a custom one

    Custom software is always the most expensive route to go. Your $2-3k will easily mushroom into $10's of thousands over time, if not much much more.

    WHMCS does the job for what I need, but ubersmith is a very nice package for those running a DC

    Hostigation High Resource Hosting - SolusVM OpenVZ/KVM VPS
  • TazTaz Disabled

    @HC_Ro said: Hello, the reason why i am Here today is because i am student, i am 18 years old, im a Freelancer and im From Australia. Now i have a Gaming Website, Forum and Shoutcast Radio, i would be happly to Work for you Remotly, advertise you on my WEBSITE, FORUM and on my Radio plus othe forums an Websites, also ill do reviews and ill be afflited. Now i Dont really have a Lot of money, so yea. Do you think you could ever be so kind, give me curtesy and do me a Very Special 1 time Deal on your Windows VPS, Reseller i also need a New Domain. The company i bought my Other Domain off (swaghost.org), hacked, scammed and Suspended my Domain without any Reason. IM terrable upset about that and i need my domain, so umm yea. What do you think ?

    HUON IS BACK!

    Time is good and also bad. Life is short and that is sad. Dont worry be happy thats my style. No matter what happens i won't lose my smile!

    Thanked by 1eastonch
  • ZenZen Member
    edited September 2012

    @HC_Ro said: Hello, the reason why i am Here today is because i am student, i am 18 years old, im a Freelancer and im From Australia. Now i have a Gaming Website, Forum and Shoutcast Radio, i would be happly to Work for you Remotly, advertise you on my WEBSITE, FORUM and on my Radio plus othe forums an Websites, also ill do reviews and ill be afflited. Now i Dont really have a Lot of money, so yea. Do you think you could ever be so kind, give me curtesy and do me a Very Special 1 time Deal on your Windows VPS, Reseller i also need a New Domain. The company i bought my Other Domain off (swaghost.org), hacked, scammed and Suspended my Domain without any Reason. IM terrable upset about that and i need my domain, so umm yea. What do you think ?

    I know who it is, just forgot the name. He's chinese and does this constantly lol. Huon or something?

    I work for Nodisto.

    Thanked by 1eastonch
  • TazTaz Disabled

    @HC_RO My prize please.

    Time is good and also bad. Life is short and that is sad. Dont worry be happy thats my style. No matter what happens i won't lose my smile!

  • HC_RoHC_Ro Member
    edited September 2012

    @Taz_NinjaHawk said: My prize please.

    Winner winner chicken dinner! You win a chicken dinner.

    But seriously, I will pull a random prize out of my hat on Monday.

  • TazTaz Disabled

    @HC_Ro said: Winner winner chicken dinner! You win a chicken dinner.

    But seriously, I will pull a random price out of my hat on Monday.

    For real! Eggsited!

    Time is good and also bad. Life is short and that is sad. Dont worry be happy thats my style. No matter what happens i won't lose my smile!

  • SimpleNodeSimpleNode Member
    edited September 2012

    hello, i have always wanted to host a server but i dont have the money. so i was wondering if you could host for me and you would get all the donations for 4 months. after the 4 months i would then pay by month to you. please please accept this it would be a great oppertunity for me and your company. i would want atleast a 2gb server and 4gb at most (would like the 4gb the most) i have friends who are ready to donate as we type. you would get money as soon as i got all the plugins working. please accept this offer. thanks c********

    Hello c********, Unfortuantly, we cannot accept your offer at this time. Best Regards, Edward Z.

    are you sure? you could make a ton of money off of this i would also be advertising for your hosting company

    Hello c********, We are not prepared to give a server worth around $42 to somebody who can't even use capital letters. Sorry. Regards, Edward Z.

    okay im fine with that i have people who are going to donate 60$ already on my server so your loss

    Hello c********, I highly doubt people are willing to donate $60 to a server that doesn't even exist yet, but hey, whatever.

    SimpleNode | Minecraft and VPS Hosting | KVM and OpenVZ | Dallas, TX and Phoenix, AZ | PayPal and BitCoins accepted

    Thanked by 1DotMG
  • that is a little rude on your responese @SimpleNode

  • @SimpleNode lol! Donate $60, but not rent it...

  • @Randy At that time, I had already answered 3 "free server plox" tickets that day, so I was a bit annoyed :)

    SimpleNode | Minecraft and VPS Hosting | KVM and OpenVZ | Dallas, TX and Phoenix, AZ | PayPal and BitCoins accepted

  • still you could have responded in a a nice way. (write some canned messages)

  • TazTaz Disabled

    @Randy at the Cest Pit please.

    Time is good and also bad. Life is short and that is sad. Dont worry be happy thats my style. No matter what happens i won't lose my smile!

  • ;-)

  • @SimpleNode: Did you use the word "Unfortuantly" because the ticket submitter used the word "oppertunity"?

    http://dot.mg - Domain name .mg

  • @DotMG No, it was a spelling mistake (and one of my nasty habits). Chrome's spellchecker is borked for some reason.

    I guess I rely too much on spellcheckers.

    SimpleNode | Minecraft and VPS Hosting | KVM and OpenVZ | Dallas, TX and Phoenix, AZ | PayPal and BitCoins accepted

  • @SimpleNode said: Chrome's spellchecker is borked for some reason.

    I can see that. ;)

    FiberVolt | Quality Los Angeles & Chicago Virtual Servers - http://fibervolt.com

  • @Victor ??

    SimpleNode | Minecraft and VPS Hosting | KVM and OpenVZ | Dallas, TX and Phoenix, AZ | PayPal and BitCoins accepted

  • My entire experience with yesup over the past 6 months has been one giant fuckup combo of a ticket.

    In May or so, my dedi's Ethernet cord was "accidentially unplugged".

    The support staff have very poor English at times.

    On Saturday morning at 4AM, I was nullrouted because of a DDoS attack of undisclosed size. Guess what? I'm still nullrouted, even right now, over two full days later.

    Want to hear more? How about them taking a list of features that I already had, then making a $49/mo addon to get them back. Yeah. Because apparently I should pay an extra $49/mo to get the following (already advertised/given) features: KVM, remote reboot, 24/7 phone/live chat support, 1Gbit DDoS protection.

    Oh yeah! They had ACL'd UDP for me a few weeks ago. About a week later, the ACL mysteriously vanished, and I was told to buy the brand-new $49/mo addon to get it back. Now, I wouldn't be as mad if the adding was only for DDoS, but it's listing a bunch of features I already had/was given/were advertised!

    My requests over the last two days for info on when the nullroute would end and what size the attack is were met with "it's under investigation". Personally, I theorize that their network admin takes weekends off and they're just stalling for time.

    So yeah. These guys aren't doing too well.

  • @JTR said: My entire experience with yesup over the past 6 months has been one giant fuckup combo of a ticket.

    In May or so, my dedi's Ethernet cord was "accidentially unplugged".

    The support staff have very poor English at times.

    On Saturday morning at 4AM, I was nullrouted because of a DDoS attack of undisclosed size. Guess what? I'm still nullrouted, even right now, over two full days later.

    Want to hear more? How about them taking a list of features that I already had, then making a $49/mo addon to get them back. Yeah. Because apparently I should pay an extra $49/mo to get the following (already advertised/given) features: KVM, remote reboot, 24/7 phone/live chat support, 1Gbit DDoS protection.

    Oh yeah! They had ACL'd UDP for me a few weeks ago. About a week later, the ACL mysteriously vanished, and I was told to buy the brand-new $49/mo addon to get it back. Now, I wouldn't be as mad if the adding was only for DDoS, but it's listing a bunch of features I already had/was given/were advertised!

    My requests over the last two days for info on when the nullroute would end and what size the attack is were met with "it's under investigation". Personally, I theorize that their network admin takes weekends off and they're just stalling for time.

    So yeah. These guys aren't doing too well.

    Sounds like a Webhostingfail ;) @Zen

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